Lastly. America is safe. Young kids can go outside and play once again. No longer is liberty and justice threatened by the scourge of the Donald Trump presidency. Or militant Russian collusion.
Roger Stone has actually been indicted!
In a predawn raid, greatly armed FBI SWAT group task forces wearing body armor and bring packed assault rifles stormed the house where Roger Stone, 66, resides in Florida with his wife.
Obviously. Where else would the FBI discover such a clear and present hazard to peace and society, but a peaceful neighborhood where elderly individuals go to retire?
In a rare departure from their routine diet plan of Fake News, CNN was tipped off and recorded significant footage of the bold raid in which Mr. Stone and his other half were rousted from bed in their pajamas. One can never ever be too cautious! Mr. Stone barely had time to cover his giant back tattoo of President Richard Nixon with a Tee shirts.
The nefarious Mr. Stone has actually been charged with lying to Congress. Stop laughing. This is major! Since just Congress is permitted to lie– and just when speaking to the American public.
For instance, even Congress is not enabled to lie to Congress. Just to the dumb nitwits who pay all the expenses around here. Because if Congress were to lie to Congress then that would be lying to itself, which is a mental condition and might lead to actual dysfunction of Congress.
And if Congress were to fall under a rut of dysfunction, no telling what might occur. Such dangerousness could, for instance, cause Congress closing down the federal government so that they do not have to bring out their absolutely a lot of standard and essential function: securing our borders.
Among the most shocking discoveries in the indictment of Roger Stone is the discovery that a political operative associated with political projects and other political affairs stands implicated of being dishonest. We had no idea.
However what I can not figure is what this all has to do with President Trump? After all, Mr. Trump is the Great White Whale in unique counsel Robert Mueller’s examination into collusion between Mr. Trump’s campaign and Russia.
Absolutely Nothing about that here in this indictment of Roger Stone.
And the amusing feature of Roger Stone is that he has actually been around for ages, thus the Richard Nixon tattoo plastered between his shoulder blades.
The self-described “dirty trickster” has been an entertaining and fabulist sideshow of American politics returning years.
It was more than 10 years ago that Matt Labash composed a fantastic and humorous profile of Mr. Stone and all his shady, con male ways.
” Being a proficient confidence guy is both a true blessing and a curse,” Mr. Labash wrote in the 2007 profile in the previous Weekly Requirement.
” If you genuinely stand out at the long con, raising it to a type of art, marks will never ever know they have actually been taken. However if you end up being distinguished for such artistry, when it is synonymous with your extremely name, individuals never ever think you’re off the grift, even when you’re playing straight.”
Where was the FBI then? Plainly, Mr. Stone was exposed as a less than always straight-dealing political hack. Yet this did not concern the FBI back then.
Everyone in Washington read that profile. Even CNN legal “analyst” Jeffrey Toobin, who subsequently duped Mr. Labash’s profile of Mr. Stone and composed a copycat profile of Roger Stone for The New Yorker.
Again, where was the FBI raid of Mr. Stone’s home? Where was the remarkable CNN video footage?
Yet, unexpectedly Mr. Mueller and the FBI are shocked– shocked!– to discover lying going on in Washington by this self-styled filthy trickster political operative.
It is similar to the widely heralded trials of longtime Washington political hand Paul Manafort, who was founded guilty of all sorts of bad things such as tax evasion years back.
Fact is, the FBI and Robert Mueller still have not shown a shred of evidence to support the whole purpose of this investigation.
And these indictments really have nothing to do with Mr. Stone’s unreliability as a genuine witness. He has been that for a long, very long time around Washington and nobody cared.
It is great to be a liar in Washington. Or a tax cheat. You simply can’t be a liar or a tax cheat AND be a fan of President Trump.
If you are, you can expect to be rousted from your bed in the middle of the night by lots of commandos in riot gear bring packed assault rifles with CNN recording the entire thing.
–Contact Charles Hurt at [email protected] or on Twitter @charleshurt.